welcome to the lumberjack news.

this week’s “news at a glance” type thing is pretty much a big story about egypt, as well as some other things that i think are particularly important/funny/interesting that i think you should know about.

sit back. enjoy.

waking masses of mummies.

i almost feel like i should devote all of this segment to the growing turmoil and possible catastrophe that is brewing over in the middle east/egypt because the world is going nuts.

protests started on jan. 25th when thousands of citizens were fed up with poverty, government corruption, unemployment, and being ruled for the past thirty years by their dictator, hosni mubarak. these protestors used twitter to organize the locations of their protests and to gain more followers (that pun was intentional).

so what do you do when your citizens are protesting you? you shut down twitter, facebook, cell phones, text messaging, fax machines, and essentially all ways of gaining support and communicating with the rest of the world. good job, hosni. -ed.

who do the people want to take over the country now, though? the answer is the former head of the iaea [international atomic energy agency] and nobel prize winner mohamed elbaradei. he is a moderate, most likely wants democracy, and [to my knowledge] would support israel. he no longer lives in egypt but has since returned to lead the protesters.

egypt is practically israel’s only ally in the middle east. fear is that if a anti-israeli government is established in egypt, the middle east will change it’s name to the missile east and the world will end.

oh, and did i mention that mr. mubarak hasn’t been in the country for practically any of the days that this protest has been going on. granted, i’m not surprised at this at all because if my entire country was carrying signs that told me to “go to hell”, i’d probably hide my tail between my legs and gtfo of egypt.

the military now has control of the country, mubarak is “running” things from an unknown location. i looked at like…twelve articles and all of them either said nothing or speculated his whereabouts [one said london and one said turkey while another said he was in the united states].

wherever you are, mr. mubarak, don’t go back to egypt. gracefully step down, let mr. elbaradei take the reigns, and live out the rest of your life knowing you tried.

new information: hosni mubarak will not be seeking re-election in the fall.

for more on the story go to any news media website on the internet.

snowmaggedon.

on this side of the world, the united states is bracing for what might be the biggest snow storm since…a month ago. there are reports that cities like chicago could see over two feet of snow within 24 hours.

of course, news media outlets are blowing this storm in to what can only be described as…

snowmaggedon.

but it is really just a big snow storm. nothing too big to worry about, especially since it is states that are used to a lot of snow [pennsylvania, new york, vermont, illinois]. virginia isn’t going to see any snow at all. thanks appalachian mountains.

for more on the snow, check out weather.com.

video games might make your kids fat, but it makes them smarter.

studies show that these made me smart.

i would first like to say “suck it” to everyone that ever thought video games made “gamers” stupid or lazy or socially awkward. a recent study shows that gaming makes people smarter and helps them with logic and reasoning skills.

however, studies did not find anywhere that gaming could help you lose weight. running in call of duty sadly doesn’t burn any real world calories. there is also a chance you will still be socially awkward, too…but that is kind of your own choice.

this study is a very good thing though, because maybe it will show all of those strict parents that letting their kids play video games won’t make them idiots.

but please, don’t let your kids play grand theft auto until they can accurately tell the difference between what is fiction and what is reality.

that’s all.

hopefully you know more things now than you did a few minutes ago. as always, feedback is welcomed.

-the lumberjack.