life « the indie lumberjack.

thinking ahead.

February 25th, 2011 § 3 Comments

sorry in advance.

i’m sure you’re all getting annoyed with how personal the site has become lately, and for that i apologize. not sure which direction i’d like to take it as far as concepts and topics go. i’d really like more writers.

anyway, i’ve been thinking a lot about what i want to do after i graduate. there aren’t a lot of jobs out there and even less for people who decided to major in political science and journalism [granted, it almost seems like i want to work for like the washington post or npr or something] but i remain hopeful that there is something out there for me once i leave the halls of wesleyan.

here is what i’m thinking…

a quick note: these are both for the long term and the short term.

teaching – it’s true, i hate kids. i hate kids that are younger than me and i hate kids my age. but i love english and i think i’d make a really interesting english teacher. if there is only one thing i’ve learned while at wesleyan, it is that there are an overwhelming [and depressing] number of 18-21 year olds that have no idea how to use the english language to convey thoughts. i mean, all of them can write sentences, but those sentences are terrible. i also think i might swear more than is allowed in public middle/high schools so i might need to teach at the college level.

i also thought about teaching journalism or government to high school kids. might as well contribute to the things i studied.

gamestop – this is a “if nothing else in my life works out and i have no other option” option. i mean, i do enjoy working at gamestop [for the most part] but i don’t want to be that guy who is in his thirties and is only an assistant manager or manager of a gamestop. now, if i working the corporate side and doing something like that, i’d hate myself a little less.

your reward for getting halfway through - a kitten.

journalist – this is something i’d really like to do. i kinda want to work for a newspaper but i really want to work for a magazine. i think working for like a music magazine [like alternative press] or a video game magazine [like gameinformer] would be totally legit. those are two things i’m really passionate about and know a lot about so making a career out of writing about them would be a really great way to spend my life.

author – this is the be-all-end-all career choice for me. to get paid to write novels would make me the happiest boy in the world. however, to do so, you need to be good at writing [i'm decent] and have an iron will in the face of publishers who will daily tell you that your book sucks. my will is that of wet cardboard when it comes to rejection. i also get frequent bouts of writers block…which sometimes last for months [like 12 of them in a row].

those are all the things i want to do. thats it. nothing else sounds interesting or fun and i didn’t just go to college for four years and pay almost $80,000 to do something boring and stupid.

that’s it for today.

- the lumberjack.

panic attack.

February 17th, 2011 § Leave a Comment

i’m fine.

i finished my intro to my 15 page research paper…and then i had my first panic attack of the semester. i’m hoping it was just a one time thing since last semester i had them two or three times a week. i handle stress pretty well, but i do not handle chronic soul crippling panic attacks very well.

why so stressed, lumberjack?

well, since you asked, i’ll tell you.

school – i’m actually trying this semester, since i’d love to be in an honor society before i graduate here. my classes are more work than i anticipated but they are manageable on their own. i’m having a severe case of writer’s block on the first paper i have to write for my english class, which is not how i wanted to start the semester.
work - i’m working a lot more than i’d like to be. don’t get me wrong, bi-weekly $400+ paychecks are phenomenal, but it is just starting to feel like too much when coupled with the classes. once again, nothing i can’t handle on it’s own.
the future - i’m about to be a senior and have absolutely no idea what i’m going to do after school. i’ve contacted gameinformer magazine [because i'm a big lame nerd] and didn’t get anything back. i’m going to wait a few months and try again, hopefully with a better resume and what not. i’m not even sure where i can find a job or even what i want to do. i remember being like…16 and not knowing what i wanted to do and people telling me that was okay, but now i’m almost 21 and still have no idea. grad school is starting to look better…atleast i’ll have a few more years to figure out what i want to do.
my novel – my novel has gone nowhere in almost a year so i decided to write a short story. however, that short story sucks. i’m too critical of my writing. writer’s block makes me think i should just be a gamestop employee for the rest of my life. i’m atleast good at that.

that’s it.

if that doesn’t seem like a lot to you, well congrats on being a better person than me. and sorry for the kind of depressing post. i’ll do better next time.

- the lumberjack.

the winter of our discontent.

January 31st, 2011 § 1 Comment

holy eff.

so…my bad guys. three months really got away from me and i’m really sorry to the like…nine of you that check my blog daily. i did a lot over the course of the time i was gone, i promise.

i got really depressed: yeah…i was super depressed for a good two months or so, but i’m back to normal now so life is looking up again. i’m really stoked for this semester and all the cool things that are going on.
got promoted at gamestop: i have keys now and get to make basic decisions about people’s work days. woo! and i’m responsible for dealing with douche-bag customers when they come in with their panties in a bunch. yay!
almost failed my entire fall semester: this one i’m a little less proud of. i pretty much didn’t go to any of my classes and wasted a lot of time and money. i slept a lot. moped around a lot. occasionally i’d make an appearance for exams and papers, but other than that, i was pretty much a ghost.
got an internship/lost my internship/got my internship back: this is a long story about conflicting schedules, exhaustion, a terrible professor, and more exhaustion. long story short, got the internship back and am back to working for alt-daily again.

so my life has been pretty hectic, but i’m back at school, my semester is going great, and i’m so close to senior year that i can taste it.

i’ll be back to being my awesome lumberjack self in a few days and regular posts should become a normal thing.

thanks for sticking with me, let’s have a great 2011 together.

-the lumberjack.

thoughts of a college junior: part two.

October 6th, 2010 § 3 Comments

mom, if you’re reading this…stop reading now.

weekends are the best.

wanna know what is awesome about not having class on friday? the weekend starts on thursday. i can [in theory] party from thursday night until sunday morning [because i usually work all day sunday]. and what better way to spend the weekend than by sleeping all day, showering, and heading across campus to enjoy fun times with friends and people who won’t remember they talked to you in the morning.

i’m not going to go in to explicit detail of the weekend festivities because…well for obvious reasons.

things i’ve witnessed.

i’ve seen an elevator open up and literally fifteen or twenty people walk out of it.
i’ve seen a lot of dudes not wearing shirts. i mean, i know the body gets hot when you drink but the ratio of shirtless bros to shirtless girls that i’ve seen is pretty much ∞:1 [and i'm not even sure if that girl was topless or not].
i’ve heard people say:
- “i’ll totally remember your name in the morning, kyle.”
  “my name is mike, bro.”
i heard a girl say she’d “totally take of her clothes for money because it seemed easy.” i’m pretty sure she was sober when she said this, actually.

things i’ve done.

went on a sweet hike through some creepy woods at 2:30am with a guy i went to high school with while he talked about nature and the boy scouts and politics. and i think he mentioned something about rapists.
went in to a party with no cup, left the party with two cups.
went in to a party and immediately turned around because there were like 12 dudes for every one girl, and there were only like four girls there. [do the math for that sausage fest]
eaten literally the best tasting wawa/taco bell/domino’s of my life.

things i regret.

nothing.

so why am i telling you all of this?

i realized that college has a lot of purposes and prepares you for life in a lot of different ways.

classes teach you things you’ll need for your major and for your career, professors help you network with people in the field you’re trying to pursue, and papers help you learn to manage time and work on a deadline.

friends teach you a lot about people and about yourself. you learn who is dependable and who isn’t and you learn a lot about trust. friends also teach you about self-reliance and a lot about choices.

parties even have their place in this teaching extravaganza. they teach you that at the end of the day, no matter who you are or what you do during the week, a bunch of people can get together, drink and enjoy each other’s company. it also teaches you how to drink, what your limit is, and how when you get in to the real world, you can’t act the way you do in college.

college is like it’s own little world where nothing outside the bubble of college can affect you, but when you go out in the world you’re kind of open to all that. it makes sense in a way.

so enjoy college life because after that four years is over, you have to put the solo cup down and get your life started.

-the lumberjack

next post.

since someone still hasn’t given me the jimmy eat world album, i can’t really review it. [thanks nick. jerk.] i’ll figure something out though.

thoughts of a college junior: part one.

September 23rd, 2010 § Leave a Comment

this post was not meant to be rude or offensive to any one subculture of college students or any people in particular. <— disclaimer.

i am not athletic.

if you saw a picture of me, the first word that comes to mind is not “athletic” or “fit” or probably even “healthy”. i’m a chubby dude. i don’t run [ever] and i don’t play any sports [unless you consider madden or ncaa a sport]. i work out a couple of times a week to maintain my polar-bear-like figure and i try to eat a relatively healthy diet.

i said all of that to say this:

i don’t feel like i belong at wesleyan.

there are a lot of subcultures at this school, and they all hang out together [naturally] and there isn’t anything i can do about that because that is just science and nature that people with common interests hangout together.

there are too many athletes at this school. i started a conversation at a coffee shop with an older woman who graduated from wesleyan back in the 70s, and when i told her there were a lot of athletes at wesleyan now, she just sighed and said “that’s a shame.” however, to risk me sounding like a fat-douche, i don’t hate the athletes here, i just think there are too many. for such a small school, the ratio is just skewed.

there are fraternity guys [three different varieties], sorority girls [somewhere between three-five different types], really weird kids [the super creepy kind], athletes, bros, whores, people who care way too much about school and people who don’t care enough.

and then there is me.

i don’t really fit in to any group of people here. if there was just a group of normal people or average people or people who are terrified of the future, i’d be all over that…but there isn’t [to my knowledge].

but do not despair, there is hope.

it has taken me over two years to finally carve out a solid group of friends, which i lovingly have named “the gang”. it consists of kelly, her roommate clancey, and clancey’s boyfriend jon. these are my best friends in the world. i love them more than any friends that i have ever had. there are other members of the gang [like our photographer friend rachel and my big gay roommate jose].

but the consistent, constant, never wavering gang is kelly, clancey, jon, and myself.

we’re all different: i’m a total nerd and write a lot, kelly is in to gay rights and is in a sorority [ΦΣΣ], clancey is in a sorority[ΣΣΣ] and loves god a lot. jon goes to community college and likes metal way more than anyone should.

these three people, who i’d do anything for, have made college an actual enjoyable experience for me. i can’t remember anything before them about this place, and i don’t want to. this place was a total fail-fest until they all moseyed on in to my life.

so if you’re reading this: i love you guys.

and so ends part one.

cody.

nothing elaborate.

February 16th, 2010 § 2 Comments

First things first.

Happy Mardi Gras, errrbody.

Moving on.

My post today isn’t really anything elaborate. I don’t really have an agenda or anything on my mind that I need to rant about. This is just sort of a “Hey, what’s up” kind of post.

Money in the bank.

Well, I got a job at GameStop as a seasonal hire, which meant I was only useful between the months of November-January. But something magical happened…they let me keep my job after the Holiday season had come to an end. And let’s just say that “Christmas GameStop” is a lot scarier than “Everyday GameStop”. So I work there now and love every second of it [especially when I get awesome free stuff because of it].

This is why my job is better than yours.

And I have a job at Wesleyan doing paperwork for the Political Science department. Not a bad job, I like the professors that I do work for.

This is a house of learn-ed doctors.

A few weeks ago I started my fourth semester at Virginia Wesleyan because the aspiration to transfer schools fizzled because it didn’t seem worth it anymore. I found friends at this school that aren’t backstabbing wastes of time, I found myself a lady, and I found myself an adviser for my major that actually seems to care about me as a person and as a student.

Sure, some things about the school still totally suck [most of the people, the lack of fun things to do on the weekend, most of the people] but some things have actually improved a lot since last year [my GPA, my friends, the food in the cafeteria].

This might sound incredibly stupid to a lot of people, but I’m actually glad I went to Wesleyan because it rooted out a lot of cancers from my life that were holding me back from being successful.

I am a writer, a writer of fiction.

As a lot of you may know, I have been slowly but surely writing a novel for the past 10 or 11 months. This isn’t my first attempt at writing a novel, but it is the first one that I’ve stuck with for longer than a few months [except for the one I was writing in high school that I lost when I lost the notebook it was in]. My goal has to been write about a hundred words a day or atleast 500 words a week. My main goal, however, is to finish this piece of fiction before Christmas 2010…which gives me 311 days to finish it.

I don’t know why I chose Christmas as my deadline for myself, it just felt like a good day to choose. What I might do, is make my deadline March 3, 2011, since that will mean I wrote the novel for two years…I don’t know though.

My Deadline – December 25, 2010.
Real Deadline – March 3, 2011.

I’m not releasing any details about it yet, but if you’re interested in it…ask me questions about it and maybe I’ll let you read Chapter One.

That is about it.

Well…that is all I really have to talk about. Tomorrow is “wtf wednesday” and I think Thursday there will be a review of Dante’s Inferno since I picked up a copy from work and have been playing it as much as I can [it is epic].

Thanks for the support, everyone.

Cody.

the indie lumberjack.