the indie lumberjack.

Let’s begin today with a hypothetical:

Let’s say you promise someone you’ll change. Let’s say you do what you say you’ll do so that all parties involved can smile and giggle and be merry. Now let’s say that you were promised something in return for that change, but in the time it took you to change, said promise became “null and void” without you becoming aware of it. Do you feel angry? Betrayed? Or are you just disappointed?

As I sit here at my computer, eating delicious Fig Newton brand cookies, looking at the squirrels frolicking up and down the pine tree, I come to the conclusion that my life is pretty decent. Yeah, it’s nowhere close to being ideal, nor is it anywhere close to being horrendous but why do I feel as though my life would be better if every single aspect were changed in it.

When did it become so easy to hate everything about yourself and so hard to change anything about it. We are all so caught up in the superficial that the things we say we are doing, or are at least going to try to do, become superficial too. I don’t know if there is an exact date in history but I’m sure it was either during the 80s or during this decade. People seem so replaceable that we don’t care if we hurt them or if they hurt us because we know that they will probably be hundreds of miles away from us in the next two years. People don’t stay in relationships or marriages anymore because there is an abundance of people, which translates in to an abundance of opportunity.

We’re all guilty of it, even I, the person seemingly complaining about it, has fallen victim to the tempting nature of the disposable person. Although…mine was out of defense, because had I not done it, I’d have gone insane and therefore would not be able to write this on account of the straight-jacket.
ANYWAY
The point is that I’ve been replaced and the feeling sucks. It wasn’t intentional…that I know of. But you know, maybe it was. Maybe finding someone/something else is the way people deal with loss…or mistakes….or whatever.

I’m off to ponder this some more. Stay tuned for Part Two.

Cody.