the indie lumberjack.

So pretty much lately I’ve been noticing things from a new perspective. Not of one of the “jealous” type or the “difficult” type, but of the “new beginnings” type.

I’ve decided that I have my own life and the people in it are there for a reason. There are people I wish weren’t in my life, but I’ve realized that they are there for some yet to be discovered purpose, or maybe they are just there to keep me focused on not turning in to people like them. I like to think that it’s the latter because it keeps me, like I said, focused.

There are people I wish were still in my life but won’t be because of things that have happened between us, but I guess what happened between us was for the best or it wouldn’t have stayed the way it was for so long. Things happen for a reason and I’m assuming this did too, even though it’s a huge disappointment that we aren’t like we used to be. I miss you guys, and if you ever read this, know that you’re missed and that I’m sorry for the way things turned out, and deep down, I know you are too.

There are also people in my life that I want to keep around. New people. Old people. People that have just been constants for the past few years of my life. These are the people I am not willing to give up, the people that I’m willing to fight to the last for. People like these are few and far between and hard to find.

Where the real tragedy is, though, is that some of these people fall in to more than one category and I haven’t quite figured out what to do about them yet. I know this is typical teenage melodrama and that if these people are truly what they profess to be, things will change, but it never seems like it. I think pride has a lot to do with it. And willingness. Some people aren’t willing to admit that they’ve made mistakes in the past, that they regret what they did, and that they are ready move on and start anew.

This wasn’t intended to be a sort of…nostalgic friendship manifesto, it started out as a declaration of my independence…but it’s becoming apparent during this blog that I’m still a hostage to everyone else around me. I’m really hoping the SWAT team rescues me soon, as my captors are threatening to start shooting hostages if their demands are met…someone give them the space they asked for, the new life they wanted, and the freedom they’re begging for. I don’t want to be their hostage anymore.

cody.